Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s here now, writing to you.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Why is the word "democracy" not in the preamble of the US Constitution?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Why are flat Earthers made fun of when they seemingly don't exist? I have only met one flat Earther in 18 years.

The sadness was still there.

I was tired of trying and failing.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

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It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Can you explain the meaning of "mint condition" in relation to antiques or collectibles?

Be who you already are.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

What is the one thing you don't understand that others do?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

What does the Turkish word çıplak mean?

You are like me, then.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

I was tired of fighting.

Why did it take seven days for troops with helicopters, equipment, supplies, food, and water to be dispatched to southeast storm zones?

I had run out of hope.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Why should the US public listen to Lauren Boebert, the queen of hypocrisy tell us, "We need morals back in our nation" when her real-time video is the heartbeat of immoral? Why does her audio not match her video?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

It’s still here.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

What do you do when you are struggling to fall asleep?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

And the sadness?